I can’t believe February is already here. It’s the month we celebrate love and lovers.
But for those of us who have gone through a divorce, are in the middle of a break up, or single it can be a time that brings back memories and leave you feeling empty and lonely or remind you that you do not have the love of an earthly husband – someone to do life with, support you and love you as Christ loved the church.
Reclaiming your identity and moving on with your life after a divorce or breakup is truly a personal journey.
But if you dwell on the past you can get stuck looking back and not focus on your present season or take the necessary steps to move on with your life.
I’ve been celibate for over 10 years since my ex-husband and I last tried to get back together. We tried many times but it did not work because I wanted a life filled with service to Christ and he did not. Plus we had changed from the kids we were when we met at 18 and 20 years old. However, I kept praying and hoping for my marriage to be restored.
This left me not really having a complete identity.
I did not feel like I fit in with the women around me because almost all my friends are married and I was someplace in between – no longer married but not yet feeling single because my heart was still with my husband.
I refused to go back to my past hot mess way of being and doing things B.C. (Before Christ) so I had to learn to live alone and yet not lonely because Christ is with me. I had to understand that I am enough even if I’m not right for him. I had to let him go and some days, admittedly it’s still hard because I was so in love with him and he is the only love I’ve really known – for better and worse. I have to learn to set boundaries and I’m still learning.
This month I want to minister to women who are “someplace in between” the place I spent so much time and sometimes my heart wants to go back to.
I want to help you see that alone doesn’t mean you have to lonely. In fact, you are not alone. God is with you. His Holy Spirit lives inside of you to lead and guide you.
You can walk in freedom. You don’t have to go back to the way you used to be just to fill the void of the one who left. You don’t have to blame yourself or your ex. You can love again and there’s someone who will love you back and help you to be the women God called you to be.
I stayed stuck for so long because I was trying to make up for my past and the guilt I felt for my failed marriage and the things I had done when I was so young. But God has called us to peace (1 Corinthians 7:15).
God loves us so much, He doesn’t want us to dwell on the past and think about what could have been. He wants us to enjoy our lives in the season we are in, knowing we are forgiven, we are enough, we worthy of love and every good and perfect gift He has for us. He wants us to awake and arise, lift up our eyes to see all the future possibilities.
Beloved, if you are single, divorced, or going through a breakup and want to continue the conversation join me Monday, February 12th for a Facebook Live Chat on Love in my group Calling God’s Daughters.
In Christ L.A.B.,