Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Then – The Coach
When they were younger my kids called me a perfectionist. They said I wanted everything perfect and I wanted them to be perfect. Now, that’s the way they saw, but that’s not the way that I saw. I would always tell them how they could do things better, be better people – clean their rooms better, do better in school, I would also tell them how they could be better athletes, better friends, and better everything when they came to me for advice. I guess you could say I was more of a coach than a cheerleader. But I believe as parents, at times we have to be more one than the other given the season of parenting we are in. However, we can get out of balance or do the things we think are right thing but in the wrong season.
Now – The Cheerleader
Now that they are teenagers and young adults and express themselves more openly they’ve let me know that my advice doesn’t always sound like loving advice to them, but at times like criticism.
Because one my greatest desire for my children is that they will not stop sharing their lives and secrets with me and always be willing to listen to me instead of look to the world for advice I have decided in this new season of parenting to do things a differently. I am determined to be less of the coach that gets on their cases and more of the cheerleader who roots them on.
My goal in the season that I have embarked upon is to be the person who not only see the best in them and believes the best of them but to make sure I communicate that to them every day in such a way that they can know it and get the encouragement they need to be who God called them to be. This season I will be more cheerleader than coach but still, definitely both.
What season of parenting are you in and which do you find that you reflect more at this time – coach or cheerleader? Do you think you have the right balance?