Most women compare themselves with other women. However comparison breeds competition, which breeds low self-esteem when we don’t feel we measure up. Low self-esteem is what the devil uses to plant his lies in our heart to make us feel like we have to do more, be more, and have more to keep up with what we think other women have, which in turn keeps the albeit silent competition going.
The result is that we compare ourselves to other women constantly. We secretly check out other women to see if they are prettier, slimmer or smarter, if they have nicer clothes, if their children are doing better than ours, if they have a better job or more friends. If they are married, we look at how big their ring is, who they’re married to, what they drive, and where they live. The list goes on.
If feel we don’t feel we measure up or we think another woman is doing better than us, we make mental notes to fix our hair better, work on our weight, to look prettier, or to do better in whatever area we feel we are lacking. We devise plans to “keep up with the Joneses.”
Some women make themselves miserable thinking about what they don’t have, what other people do have and what they think other women think of them. In reality, if someone is spending that much time thinking about you, they have as a big a problem within themselves as you do.
If we can’t get the things that we will feel will make us “better” for whatever reason, we silently long for them in our hearts and enter in an unspoken competition, striving for those things. No, we don’t call it competition, not even to ourselves, but it is.
A spirit of competition does two things:
It makes us afraid to help other women and it makes us miserable when we focus all of our energy on out doing other women who may not even care.
Social media has made things worse.
The evil seeds of comparison and competing for the best life have crept their way into the younger generation of women and taken root through constantly postings images that paint pictures of perfect lives, which is often not reality at all.
Running Your Own Race
As Christians, we are all called to the race of faith, but it’s not a competition against each other. The race is individual and we have our own lanes. All we have to do is finish.
The God who knew you in your mother’s womb and pre-planned your days has promises and purpose saved just for you. He has blessings that only you can obtain. He has love, joy, peace and an inheritance stored up just for you. He has a crown with your name on it waiting for you to finish your own race.
If you try to run another woman’s race by doing what she is doing, trying to be who she is called to be or have what God has ordained for her you will be distracted from running your race and never make it to your finished line.
What God has for you is not in your sister’s lane, it’s in your own lane. He has a husband, children, a family, friendships, a job or business, a ministry, and a calling that are all part of your race, to be obtained in your lane.
The remedy for getting comparison and competition out of your heart is to believe that God loves you, know that you are accepted by Him and meant to be accepted by others, not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are, and to believe you are beautifully made, fit for the life He called you to. Then you can cheer for other women and love them with a pure heart when the love of God is in you and you love yourself.
When you walk in sisterly love instead of comparison, the competitions stop and you can help your sisters finish their race knowing that it’s not going to hinder you from finishing yours. You can support other women so we can all make it to our finish lines and win together.
Beloved, if you want more, want it for yourself not to prove anything to other people. If you want to be better, be better because you want to be the best you that God made. If you want to do more, do it because God called you to it.