Abortion is the act of taking an unborn baby’s life, regardless of what side you’re on — choice or life.
Beyond the reasons why women have them, and there are some very hard circumstances like rape, deformities and such, in the end an unborn fetus is a baby, a life. I’m not judging either way because it’s a choice we all have to make. I’ve been there. I know. But if I knew then what I know now I would have chosen life. Granted, I did not have hard circumstances. Just foolish choices. I know I’m over-sharing. Don’t judge me. I hope I help someone get free.
I remember growing up in South East San Diego where there was a Planned Parenthood in every neighborhood.
It was a form of birth control for many young girls who should not have been having sex anyway including me. Most of us weren’t on the pill or did not take them faithfully because the side-effects seemed greater than the protection they offered. Not heard about conjured up side-effects but real side-effects happening in real-time, like bleeding all month.
Crazy. We were scared to take the pill but not scared of abortion.
The reason, I think is that they (Planned Parenthood) never said that it, them, they were children or babies or that abortion was ending a life. No, they called unborn babies unwanted pregnancies, problems or it. I guess I should have known but I was ignorant of the facts and no one educated me. The education was the opposite: “You can get rid of the problem.” You don’t have to go through with it.” If it wasn’t planned and is unwanted then get rid of it. Don’t stop your life.”
In my house we were told not to have sex period. There was no discussion of if you have sex.
I told my mom I wasn’t having sex because I wasn’t at the time she asked. I had been with my boyfriend for about a year when we finally had sex for the first time and I got pregnant. That time I did not have an abortion I had a child. It was when I get pregnant the next time that I said I could not have another child so soon and decided to have an abortion for the first time. Had someone said to me, “this is a life now choose,” I would have made a different choice.
When I became a born-again Christ I repented for what I then realized was wrong.
I saw the deception of what I had been taught, told, and not told for that matter. However, I suppressed my feelings maybe because I did not know what to feel or do, so I thought that was enough.
About three years ago the Lord showed me a vision of my aborted babies in heaven.
On that day after church in 2012 I was sitting on my living room floor worshiping the Lord while my kids went off to the Del Mar Fair. The Lord opened heaven wide, and as what seemed like gift, He showed me children.
Because I terminated early they were still just little spirit light-beings with souls. They flew around in Heaven and stay closed to the Father’s side. They had been waiting all that time to be acknowledged by me. Though they were in the Father’s presence being well taken care of they were stilling waiting to be given a name by me.
We communicated spirit to spirit without words. Instead of holding what I did against me they expressed their love and forgiveness toward me. So much so that it made me feel ashamed. Not because I felt guilty but because they loved me so much I was embarrassed that I had ignored them so long. When I repented I did not acknowledge them. I did not know how to. Their love was so overwhelming the feelings and thoughts that I had suppressed so long ago without even knowing came gushing up and at the same time I was being washed clean. It was divine and amazing.
I sat in that room on that floor for what seemed like hours worshiping, crying, laughing and talking to those beautiful little bright spirit light-filled beings and the Lord. Through tears I accepted their forgiveness and named them.
Indeed, heaven is for real, as real the life of an unborn child.
There are too many unnamed children in heaven. Beloved, if you have ever had an abortion know that you are forgiven by your child and God. If you are contemplating an abortion or you are pro-choice know that fetuses are people with eternal life. Whether by abortion or miscarriage they go to be with the Father but they long for you, they wait to be acknowledged by you, that they are indeed a life that you helped create. They want to be accepted by you. They wait to be named by you.
You told an amazing story about your abortion, and God forgives. I hope this story helps other young women who think about having an abortion.
Thank you Charmaine. I was kind of scary to share, but I left led to do it to help other women who may be struggling with the guilt of abortion. I think women also need to know that aborted babies do go to heaven.